Too late for forgiveness?
by natalie456
Summary: Peyton finds out that she is very ill and decides to try to become friends with Brooke again. This is after Psycho Derek attacks Peyton the first time.One shot.I forgot to put on a disclaimer. I'll do it here. I do not own One tree hill or the characters.


Peyton's POV

I was sitting on my bed drawing, something I had started doing more often now that I never go out anymore. What's the point anyway, why should I be out pretending to be happy when clearly I'm not. Brooke is still mad at me for kissing Lucas, Why can't she get over it? I've apologized over and over but she still won't forgive me, maybe I don't deserve to be forgiven. It's my fault anyway, because she forgave me the first time I betrayed her and I promised her I would never do it again but I still did it.

There was a light knock on the door, "Peyton it's me Lucas, could you unlock the door?". I never used to lock my door, it was always open for everyone to walk through anytime they liked but now it was different, now I was scared. After the Derek/Ian incident I never really felt safe anymore, I still have nightmares from that day. I walked to the door unlocking several locks. Opening the door I saw a sad looking Lucas standing there. "Hey, we missed you at school today." he said as he walked in to the cold, white painted room that used to be so full of warmth and color.

"I didn't really feel well this morning so I didn't go." It wasn't really a lie, I hadn't felt good this morning. My arm was hurting like hell and I felt nauseas, I didn't really think it was a big deal until at one point I felt so weak that I couldn't even get out of bed so I called the hospital scheduling an appointment for this afternoon. "Well I just came to check if you were ok." He said as he sat down on the bed, "I'm fine Luke." I lied. "You don't have to check up on me all the time." Just then Lucas' phone rang, he answered it, "Hello? Hey mom. Yeah I'll be there in 10 minutes, Bye. " He flipped the phone shut and gave me an apologetic smile, "It's fine, go help your mom out." I said reassuringly as he got up and gave me a kiss on the cheek, "Bye." He said walking out of my room.

I looked at my watch, checking what time it was so that I wouldn't miss my appointment. I grabbed my jacket and my car keys and made my way to the car. I arrived at the hospital just in time, walking up to a dark haired woman behind a desk looking through some papers. "Excuse me, my name is Peyton Sawyer and I have an appointment at 4 o' clock" I said politely. The woman looked up at me and smiled, typing something in the computer. "Oh yes. The doctor will be with you in a moment, have a seat in the waiting room."She said gesturing to a seat not too far from where we were. I smiled and thanked her before walking to the seat.

I had been waiting for five minutes when a female doctor walked into the waiting room, "Peyton Sawyer?" she called, "That's me." I said. "Hello Peyton, my name is Catherine Johnson and I am going to be your doctor today. Just follow me." she said smiling. Entering a hospital room she told me to sit down on the examining table, "Ok so what seems to be the problem?" she asked while having a seat in front of me. "Well this morning I woke up having pain all over my arm, I couldn't even lift up a pencil, then I started feeling really nauseas and I couldn't get out of bed." I said to the doctor shifting a little bit at my seat. "How long have you felt like this?", "Actually I have felt like this for a couple of months now but I didn't really think it was a big deal because it didn't hurt as much but today it felt so much worse." I explained. "Ok I'm going to do some blood tests on you to see what the problem is." Doctor Johnson said as she left the room.

After taking some blood tests doctor Johnson had said that it would take a day until the tests are ready, I went home and just laid down on my bed falling asleep. Thank god it's Friday, I am in no way up to going to school at all I thought as I fell into a much needed sleep.

The next morning I woke up to the ringing of my cell phone, sleepily I grabbed it and flipped it open, "Hello" I said not really in a talking mood. "Hey it's Haley, you're still asleep Peyton?" Haley said into the phone, "Why, what time is it?" I asked yawning. "It's 2 o' clock.", "Oh, I must have been really tired yesterday." I said trying to get out of bed but the pain in my arm was still there. "Well why don't you come over to the café, I haven't really seen you that much lately." She asked me with a sad voice. "I don't know…", "Please." She begged. "Fine." I said giving in, "I'll be there in 10 minutes.", "Ok, bye." she said hanging up. I just sighed and got out of bed slowly, not wanting the pain in my arm to increase.

I arrived at the café 10 minutes later and was greeted by Haley, "Hey Peyton, how are you?", "I'm fine." I said smiling, "Do you want me to help with something?" I asked hoping she would say no because I could barely stand at all because of the pain but I was trying so hard to hide it. "No it's fine, I've got everything under control." she said as a crashing sound was heard from the kitchen. "New waiter." Haley said as we both laughed, "I have to go clean up the mess." she said walking in to the kitchen.

I made my way to a chair and sat down just as someone walked in, not just anyone, Brooke Davis to be exact. "Crap!" I said to myself, my plan of keeping away from her was not working so well right now. "Well, well, well! Isn't it little Miss Peyton Sawyer, the boyfriend stealing slut! " she said while walking over to me, "Brooke, I'm not really in the mood for fighting right now so could you please just leave me alone.", "You brought this on your self and you know it. If you hadn't kissed Lucas none of this would have happened!", "How many times do I have to say I'm sorry Brooke? I really want things to go back to the way they were before all of this. I want us to be friends again." I said with tears threatening to fall down my face. "It will never be like it was before, Peyton and you know it." Brooke said angrily before walking out of the café. I just sat in my chair crying openly not caring if people saw me.

After the little bump in with Brooke I decided to head home, Haley had insisted for me to stay a little while longer but I just wanted to be alone for a while. I fell on my bed feeling exhausted, just as I was about to close my eyes my cell phone rang. "Great!" I mumbled into my pillow, I stood up and grabbed the phone. "Hello." I said tiredly, "Am I speaking to Peyton Sawyer?" the person on the other end asked, "Yes.", "Hi it's Dr. Johnson, I just wanted to inform you that your test results are back and that I would like to speak with you in person.", "Oh ok…When can I meet you?" I asked thinking that the news might be bad because the doctor wanted to speak to me personally. "Now would be great if you didn't mind." She said. "Yeah sure I'll be right there, Bye" I flipped the phone shut and left as fast as I could to the hospital not wanting to wait another minute not knowing what was wrong with me.

I arrived there 5 minutes later, sitting in my car I was contemplating on weather to go in there or not. A few minutes ago I was so anxious to know but now that I was minutes away from knowing I wasn't so sure anymore. Deciding to just get it over with I went in to the hospital and was greeted by the same woman by the desk that I had met yesterday, she smiled and said "You can just go in to her office right now, she's waiting for you." I smiled back "Thanks.", I knocked on the door to the office and Dr. Johnson opened it and let me in telling me to sit down on one of the chairs. She sat herself down before speaking. "So, I got the test results back and I can just get to the point and say that they weren't so good." She said sadly. I had a worried expression on my face "So it's really bad?" I asked.

I felt tears in my eyes that were threatening to fall, she sighed saying "Miss Sawyer…You have leukemia. You've had it for quite some time now, the cancer has spread a lot into your blood.", "Oh." Was all I could say as I just sat there with tears falling down my face. "What now?" I ask the doctor after a while. "Well considering that the cancer has spread enormously I can honestly say that a bone marrow transplant and Chemo therapy will be useless. Even if those treatments would get rid of some cancer sells, they won't be able to remove all of them. I'm sorry." She says sadly taking my hand in hers "But we can try using those treatments if you would like to.", "No…it will be a waste of time, I know that I'm not going to make it. How much time do I have left?" I asked her, "Not long." She said and judging on how my body felt at that moment I could have died anytime. As I was leaving I thought about Brooke and that I really needed to talk to her before it was too late, I could fall into an everlasting slumber any minute now.

I stood in front of her house going through all the words in my head that I was going to say to her. I knocked on her door feeling nervous…or maybe I was feeling nauseas, I really couldn't tell anymore. Opening the door she was shocked to see me but the shock suddenly disappeared as it turned into anger. "What do you want?" she asked me annoyed. "Can I talk to you?" She was about to close the door in my face when I stopped it with my hand. "Please…It's really important." I said sadly. "Fine! You get 5 minutes." She said opening the door wide enough for me to step in.

"I came here to tell you goodbye, I'm leaving.", "Well fine. I don't care!" she said crossing her arms. "No I don't mean that I will be leaving Tree Hill, I mean that I will leave this planet. I have cancer Brooke, Leukemia…It has spread a lot and I don't have time left at all. I just wanted you to know. I guess I'll be leaving now." I said as I walked to the door. "Oh and one more thing…I'm really sorry for all the things I've done to you, I never meant to hurt you Brooke. I do love you and I always will. You can say all the mean things in the world to me but I will never stop loving you." I turned around and left not stopping to see her reaction.

When I got home I felt pain all over my body as I fell to the floor "This is it." I thought as the pain got worse and worse. I crawled over to my purse and got out my cell phone dialing 911, "This is the police speaking, what is your emergency?", "I think I'm about to die, I have Leukemia…Please help me." I managed to say my address before the pain got to me and everything around me faded into darkness.

Brooke's POV

"I came here to tell you goodbye, I'm leaving." I stood there shocked that she had said it, I mean yes I was still mad at her but I never wanted her to leave…She was my best friend. I quickly tried to act like I didn't care, "Well fine. I don't care!" I couldn't help but feel guilty after I had said that because that hurt look Peyton gave me made me want to run over to her, give her a hug and say that I was sorry but my stubbornness wouldn't allow me.

"No I don't mean that I will be leaving Tree Hill, I mean that I will leave this planet. I have cancer Brooke, Leukemia…It has spread a lot and I don't have time left at all. I just wanted you to know. I guess I'll be leaving now." I just stood there frozen to my spot as I heard Peyton say all of those things. Leukemia? But how? Then, for the first time I had noticed Peyton's appearance, she was skinnier than usual, not that Peyton could get any skinnier, she had dark circles around her eyes, she was really pale and her hair had really gotten thinner but she still had hair on her head.

How could I have not noticed? She could barely stand on her two feet. She turned around to leave, I wanted to say something but she turned around again and spoke instead, "Oh and one more thing…I'm really sorry for all the things I've done to you, I never meant to hurt you Brooke. I do love you and I always will. You can say all the mean things in the world to me but I will never stop loving you."

I felt tears streaming down my eyes after she had said that, thinking about all of the things I had said to her these past couple of months made me want to kill my self. I had made fun of her mom, both of her moms and I didn't even bother to think about what that would have done to her. I didn't even go see if she was ok after Psycho Derek had attacked her. But the truth was that I was really worried about her after the attack, she wasn't the same P. Sawyer I had known for over 10 years.

To hear her say that she would always love me even after all of the things I had said about her, after I had treated her like shit really made me feel like the worst friend in the world. I can't believe I cut her out of my life just because of a boy. Peyton even told me that she wouldn't do anything about her feelings towards Lucas just so that I wouldn't be mad at her and she kept that promise. I guess that "Hoes over bros" meant more to her than it did to me. I watched her leave the house in tears and I wanted so much to run after her and apologize and telling her that I loved her too but I was frozen to my spot.

I had been crying for a while until my phone started ringing, I didn't really want to answer it but I got up and answered it anyway, "Hello." I said my voice being a little raspy after all of my crying. "Brooke, it's Lucas…You have to come to the hospital, it's about Peyton." My eyes widened, I knew exactly what had happened, Peyton had said that she didn't have that much time left. I felt fresh tears come to my eyes when I heard Lucas call out to me, "Brooke, are you still there? Brooke?", "Yeah, I'll be right there!" I said hanging up the phone rushing out of the door towards my car praying to God that Peyton would be alright.

As I got to the hospital I saw Lucas, Karen, Nathan and Haley sitting in the waiting room with tears in their eyes. Lucas was the first one to notice me as he got up and pulled me in for a hug. "Thank God you're here, they won't tell us anything about her. We don't even know why she had passed out!" he said frustrated. Wait Peyton never told them that she had cancer? "I think I know." I said not so loudly but everyone shot their heads up and looked at me questioningly. "Peyton came over to me earlier today and told me that she had..." I couldn't even say it but I had to, "…Leukemia." I finished, everyone was shocked, "And she's had it for a long time now." I cried and Lucas pulled me in for a hug. Everyone started to cry quietly for themselves as they had heard the news. "It's going to be ok." He said soothingly as he held me in his arms.

I looked up to see the doctor entering the waiting room, "Anyone here for Peyton Sawyer?" he asked as we all stood up waiting for what he was about to say. "Miss Sawyer has been really weak the past couple of months because of having Leukemia and the pain got too much for her to handle so she went into cardiac arrest. We lost her for a second but managed to resuscitate her but she is in a coma, we don't know if she will wake up any time soon or at all, I'm really sorry. " I stood there trying to take in all of the information that the doctor had said, I started to cry uncontrollably as I fell to the floor and Haley sat beside me, hugging me and crying herself. Karen was in shock, she had tears streaming down her eyes. Peyton was like a daughter to her and she couldn't bear losing her. Nathan and Lucas were both crying silent tears as the doctor continued. "You can all go see her one at a time." Then he left leaving us there to process everything that had happened today.

Nathan went first, then Haley and after her Karen, then it was Lucas' turn. When Lucas left Peyton's room his eyes were puffier than they were when he went in, smiling at me he went and sat by the rest of his friends and mother. I took a deep breath as I entered the room, it was quiet except for the heart monitor beeping steadily as I went in never taking my eyes off of Peyton. She was lying on the bed with a tube over her mouth.

My eyes started to water as I saw her lying there all helpless, I sat down taking her hand in mine and started to speak, "Hey P. Sawyer, you don't look too well but who can blame you? It's not like you planned all of this." I took a deep breath and sighed. "You really need to wake up P. Sawyer, everyone needs you…I need you. I love you, I know I should have said it to you earlier today, I wish that I had. Please wake up so that I can say it to you…Please." I closed my eyes as more tears slid down my cheeks. "It's not fair, you're an amazing person. Why is this happening to you?" I cried, "Please Peyton, if you can hear me just squeeze my hand…Please." I waited and waited. Nothing.

I sighed and laid my head on the bed. Suddenly the heart monitor started to beep faster, I shot my head up fast and stood up. Running out I called for a doctor, "Help, someone!!" I yelled as doctors ran in to the room starting to resuscitate her, "Clear!" Peyton's body shot up from the shock but she didn't wake up "Clear!" She didn't wake up this time either. A nurse escorted me outside to the waiting room. Everyone stood up and I just started to cry.

Peyton's POV

I had no idea of what was going on, everything was dark. Suddenly I saw a light coming my way, "Peyton!" I heard someone call, somehow that voice felt familiar, like I had heard it a really long time ago but had lost it somehow. "Peyton!" I heard again, this time seeing someone appearing from the light. I couldn't really see who it was at first but then it became more clear, "Mom?" I choked out being in utter shock. "Hi sweetie." She said smiling her beautiful smile that I had missed all of these years. "Mom, am I dead?" I asked her scared, "Well…Yes honey.", "Oh, so I will never see my friends again?" she smiled sadly and took my hand. "Honey, if it were up to me I would let you live forever but I can't, you have cancer and it has taken over your body. Come with me, I want to show you something." She said leading me in to the light.

Stepping in to the light I was suddenly in the room where the doctors were trying to resuscitate me. After looking at my mother questioningly I turned to look at the doctor who was trying to shock me back to life, then he stopped and announced, "Time of death 11:33.".

My mother and I followed him to the waiting room, I stopped as I saw all the sad faces look up at him and waiting for the news. I saw Brooke's lost and sad face as she stood up making her way to the doctor with everyone else. "We tried to get her back but this time her body was too weak to fight, I'm so sorry but we lost her." Everyone was shocked, Haley was crying while Nathan was holding her trying to calm her but letting a few tears slide as well. Karen who was trying to be strong for all of the kids in the waiting room just collapsed to the floor and bawled her eyes out. Lucas was trying not to cry but doing a really bad job with it.

Brooke just sat down on one of the chairs, "She never knew." I walked up to her standing right in front of her, "Brooke?" I asked. My mother came up to me, "She can't hear or see you." She said as I kept looking at Brooke. Lucas went up to her and sat beside her "What do you mean she never knew?" he asked her while rubbing her back gently. Brooke looked up, "She never knew how much I love her, she never knew how sorry I am for everything that had happened lately. She's gone and now she will never know." I felt tears on my face as I heard Brooke's words. I put a hand on her cheek and said, "Don't worry Brookie, I know." I saw her head shoot up at the touch, "Peyton?" she called out in a whisper. "I know." I repeated as I went over to my mother, looking around at all the people that I left behind, "I'm sorry guys…I'll be watching over you." And at that I disappeared with my mother.

Brooke's POV

I don't know what it was but I felt a familiar touch on my cheek. Lifting my head I saw nobody, "Peyton?" I called out. I put my hand over my cheek and smiled, "She knows." I said to no one in particular. "She knows." I repeated. Lucas looked at me questioningly, "Are you ok?" he asked. I just smiled back at him and said "Yeah…I will be now." Turning my head I whispered, "I love you P. Sawyer.".


End file.
